an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize