Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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