You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
