You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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