i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
