Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
