Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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