Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
