best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize