whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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