i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize