Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
