I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
