Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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