So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
