From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
