So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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