Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Randomize