Me. At least after what I've been through.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
