I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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