big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
