gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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