Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
