Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
