It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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