he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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