My balls are so social today.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
