I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
