I hope mine doesn't look like that
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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