Capitaan dildo arrescate!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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