love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
