That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
