I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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