dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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