I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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