after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
