everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
