so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I am spending my child support on dildos
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
How does one acquire holy water?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
