The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
