I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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