Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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