so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
