I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
pop tarts are not kleenex
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
