Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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