fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
