I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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