I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
