she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
