there were more penises there than on chat roulette
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
