Ambien. No doubt about it.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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