omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
