He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
