Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
