So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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