Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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