Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
