It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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