you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
