I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
