i permit you to call me
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
