just come out here and I will go home with you...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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