I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
