Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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