Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
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