There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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