its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
