no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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