Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
