like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
