At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize