"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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