I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize