yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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